I posted this first on my mommy-what blog. But since it has to do with homeschooling, I decided to double-post it here, too:
Lately I’ve been struggling to figure out how to balance homeschooling with play time & cleaning. Homeschooling gets first priority, and then with what time I have beyond that I can either play, read books to kids, watch them play/listen to them tell me things, or, I can clean, get grocery shopping done, catch up on online things, etc. Of course sometimes I mix these things: I might wash dishes while someone shows me what they made with legos, for example. But there’s nearly always a struggle inside me to feel like I’m balancing all these things well.
Then I think – Wah! How many women in the history of the world would like this to be their struggle?? My struggle is feeling guilty about how much time I spend on each of those three areas… but wow, I get to spend time on each of those three areas!
And yesterday and this morning, I am feeling like my perspective is even a bit more clear than that. I can sense that great things have happened in our home within the lives of our children. Could there be more to do? Of course. Would Lydia like it if I played with her today, just us two? Of course. But, the attention that each of them needs, and the urge/push to do good and hard things that each of them needs, and the comfort and reassurance that each of them needs, those things have happened — one way or another. And the good effects of those things I cansee in each of my children.
And so I feel very blessed this morning. I might not accomplish all I would like to in a single day, but day by day & year by year, we’ve made a good go of it. When I see the overall results, I am content. When I see my day ahead and wonder what to leave out, or look back on a day and wonder what I should have done, I ought to take a deep breath and remember all that God has done in our family, and what a tremendous blessing it is to have happy, confident, good kids (despite the moments where all I see are the fights, tantrums, weaknesses, etc.). When I step back I can sense it. I can sense the good that is here in our home.
Yesterday at Church we read a talk called O Remember, Remember by Henry B. Eyring. As part of it, he said, “I grew more confident that the Holy Ghost can bring all things to our remembrance—even things we did not notice or pay attention to when they happened.” He meant individual blessings in each day, and I hope I can recognize those more and more too. But right now I’m applying it to an overall picture: the Holy Ghost can help me see what is being accomplished over time, as a build-up of daily concern and work — all of course with God’s help.
So am I glad I homeschool? That I am a stay-at-home mom? YES! Do I do things perfectly? Nope! Do I ever have regrets? Of course. Is it the only way to accomplish good things for my kids? No, I’m sure it’s not. But, are good things happening? YES! Yes. And that’s something to remember daily. That’s something to shout to myself and celebrate and praise God for. It’s still a struggle to decide what to do each day, but it’s worth remembering what God is doing in our home a part from those lists and feelings of guilt. And certainly, He is doing good things in our home, and in every home. That’s worth remembering.